November 18th, 2009 | by Lee
During a recent stint in the library, I noticed that many books with the subject category of ‘influence’ were really more about persuasion.
Thereare important differences between ‘influence’ and ‘persuasion’:
Persuasion is a more direct, short-term activity and requires a larger emotional component. Influence is more indirect, longer term and depends more on logic. Persuasion mainly involves one way communication, whereas influence is often multi-directional.
There is an interesting post and discussion on this at Saying What You Mean, and a thought-provoking acronym from Brian Ahearn that covers both persuasion and influence: He says that influence is about
P. E.O.P.L.E.:
Powerful
Everyday
Opportunities to
Persuade, that are
Lasting and
Ethical
Many of us put a great deal of time and effort thinking about persuasion and not nearly enough into influence. If you are not very articulate, you will probably find it easier to focus on influencing rather than persuasion. At least it is a more gradual process that you can plan and execute.
So look for those everyday opportunities and use them to build your influence.
Posted in Conflict Resolution, Speeches, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
October 29th, 2009 | by Lee
A lot of work conversations seem casual but are important. They will often start something like: ‘ How’s the project going?’
How do you usually answer? - ‘Oh, fine thanks’? This response could waste a good opportunity. With a bit of planning, you could use the question to raise your profile with the questioner, or gain their useful insight into a problem.
Claudyne Wilder’s latest newsletter in Wilder Presentations covers using the elevator speech to handle these situations.
In the low-key New Zealand environment, if the elevator speech seems a bit forced, think about planning a soundbite. The system is similar.
For your important projects, you could adapt Claudyne’s suggestion to:
1. Progress: We have surveyed the range of best software solutions
2. Results: It looks like the most applicable one was developed in South Korea
3. Interesting fact: It costs way less than any of the competing systems and looks really good, but for some reason it hasn’t been taken up in any other New Zealand organisations before.
4. Next step: We’re being careful to check that out further
5. Question for the listener: Have you any past experience of this type of gap in adoption of a good software solution?
I am always surprised how challenging it is to work out an elevator speech. If you need some help, there is a very practical open thread on developing an elevator speech at: Freelance Folder
In case you’re wondering, the guy in the picture is racing from your brilliant elevator speech to organise you a promotion.
Posted in Communication Tips, Personal Presence, Presentation skills, Public Speaking, Uncategorized | No Comments »
October 19th, 2009 | by Penny
At Communicate, we are often asked –
“What are some useful tools and tips available to our managers and our organisation to respond to this?”
The answer –
Develop your managers to be good coaches. Why? - Good coaching supports change.
Coaching has been rising in popularity – due to the recognised link of its support in accelerating the learning process. We no longer have time to learn on the job (as we did when I started working). We now need to get up to speed quickly, with the required skills and behaviours that will be critical to our success. Good coaching provides on the job feedback to help individuals raise their awareness to their strengths and what they need to do differently to be more effective.
Today, businesses and educational institutions are valuing the relationship between coaching and leader effectiveness – seeing a strong link between coaching skills and employee retention and engagement.
Coaching is a broad range of behaviours – from being a good listener to being able to challenge assumptions and mindsets.
Being a good coach is therefore a learned set of skills. If you want you’re organisation to keep on top of their game – teach your managers to be good coaches. Good coaching will support your investment in training and ensure your people maximise their potential quickly!
A useful book resource, regardless of your experience and understanding of coaching is – Coaching for Performance, Third Edition, by John Whitmore.
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October 5th, 2009 | by Lee
Are you better than the average driver?
… or any other skill?
Answer? Deliberate practice.
Take driving as an example. Recent research shows that most drivers believe they are better drivers than the average! Well of course! We have so much experience.
Yes. We do, but how much driving ‘practice’ do we put in? If we were going to deliberately practise, we would:
- Raise our awareness of HOW we are driving - maybe focusing our attention on one particular aspect of the skill until we perfected it, then move on to another.
- We would also really listen to and possibly even act on driving advice!!
Hmm…! How many of us could do that? I certainly remember putting a stop to my four year old son’s habit of giving me driving advice from his car seat!
- We would do even better if we sought regular feedback on our driving from a good instructor and then put the advice into action? Think of the lives that might be saved!
An interesting article in Fortune Magazine shows that across a huge range of fields, the top people are the ones who devote the most time to deliberate practice. The rule of thumb holds that experts need ten years of very intensive practice to be extremely successful in their chosen field.
On a recent long flight back from the UK to New Zealand, I watched a fascinating series of BBC programmes on child musical prodigies. The programme speculated on which ones would make it to greatness as adults. Once you are up there in prodigy- land, the long-run greats are the ones who have maintained intensive practice for at least ten years. Mozart was practising three hours a day by the time he was three years old. By six, he had clocked up 3,500 hours practice - apparently over three times more than anyone else his age!
I am not sure how they know that, but back to us normal mortals and our presentation skills: Whilst we may have plenty of presentation ‘experience’, how many of us use deliberate practice? Do we take the time to reflect on a particularly demanding piece of presenting, seek feedback on our effectiveness and then work on the suggested changes?
So to become a good presenter:
- Work out what aspect you need to focus on. Each time you present, concentrate on getting that aspect right. Keep going until the required behaviour becomes a habit, then get to work on the next bit.
- Get feedback from a reliable observer and act on the feedback.
- Watch what other presenters do and see if you can learn from them - good or bad. But then make sure you practise what you have learnt.
- International Toastmasters is a great way to get practice and to obtain supportive, constructive feedback.
Now while you are about it, about that right hand turn you just made….!
Posted in Speeches, Uncategorized | No Comments »
September 24th, 2009 | by Lee
Recently someone asked me for a quick practical tip to help a junior manager enhance her personal presence. The simplest one that came to mind was that when you are in a meeting, be conscious of what you want people to go away thinking about you.
Once you know your image purpose, you will handle situations more carefully. Do you want people in a meeting to think you listened sincerely? Do you want them to think you are a fair and focused meeting leader? Whatever the image awareness you decide on, you will behave in a way accords with it.
Earlier this year I was working on presentation skills with a group of scientists. When I asked what they would like an audience to go away thinking about them after their presentation, one woman had an instant answer: ‘Oh, yes. I want them to think I am 10 years younger than I am!’
I rest my case though. If she thinks about that goal as she plans and delivers her presentation, it will take years off her age.
For some extra suggestions, here’s a practical article from the Guardian
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September 9th, 2009 | by Janine
I was recently talking to my 6 year old grandaughter about an incident that had occurred at her school. She said the teacher had “told them off” and how she had found it funny. “Did you learn anything from what the teacher said?” I asked. “Um” said the 6 year old “Yes the teacher was in a bad mood.”
How many of us still find ourselves when being given ‘constructive criticism’ feel like a child being told off,chastised and small?
There is an art to giving feedback and many innovative organisations are creating a feedback culture to grow and develop their people.
This can be easier said than done.Many of us find giving confident objective developmental feedback difficult. Others comment on personality rather than behaviour “You are so stupid when you …”
Of course receiving feedback can be hard and according to research gen Y’s find any form of ‘criticism’ hard to take(but they don’t mind giving it upwards!). We often deflect the message or attack back and give as much as we can “Yes but I remember when you….!”
It is hard when emotions are in the feedback.
Some tips on feedback:
Do not offer feedback when you feel emotional e.g.angry,frustrated or disappointed.Wait until you can think through the situation and clearly and specifically comment on the behaviour and its effects.
Don’t save up all your ‘negative’ feedback and give it in one go!
Catch people doing something good.
Be specific and objective-its a great way to help people grow.
When receiving poor feedback (in the way it’s delivered) listen and then ask questions to clearly understand what the message is and try not to think they are just in a bad mood.
Don’t give them ‘feedback’ in return.
“He has a right to criticise who has a heart to help” Abraham Lincoln
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September 3rd, 2009 | by Penny
“Long after people have forgotten what you said - they will remember how you made them feel.’
Even with the best intentions, many of us react automatically and emotionally, especially when we are under pressure and emotions are running high. This is why communicating effectively isn’t always easy.
Your ability to build rapport - making others feel at ease and more responsive to you, is critical to being able to influence. There are lots of things we can do to build rapport and the good thing is - they are all learned skills! One of the most valuable is our ability to listen actively. Research tells us that we are attracted to people who listen to us well. Through listening to others well we build an understanding of their needs.
So often we focus on trying to be understood, versus trying to understand - next time you experience emotions running high - try walking a mile in their shoes.
”A fool persuades me with his reasons, the wise man persuades me with my own.”
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August 11th, 2009 | by Janine
We put a lot of things to the test during two months sailing the Pacific. Amongst other things we tested the theory of forming, storming (literally), norming and performing team stages www.businessballs.com/tuckman/
Teams in the work environment tend to have the luxury of going home and giving themselves a break. This is a little difficult when we were all literally at sea together relying on each individual 24/7 in all weathers.
As www.joseph.conrad in Lucky Jim “There is nothing more enticing, disenchanting and enslaving as life at sea.”
Soulmate’s team was made up of 4 men and one woman (me) and we have very differing levels of sailing skills but of course as we know a high performing team requires diversity.
So what makes a ‘good’ team?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
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