I was recently talking to my 6 year old grandaughter about an incident that had occurred at her school. She said the teacher had “told them off” and how she had found it funny. “Did you learn anything from what the teacher said?” I asked. “Um” said the 6 year old “Yes the teacher was in a bad mood.”
How many of us still find ourselves when being given ‘constructive criticism’ feel like a child being told off,chastised and small?
There is an art to giving feedback and many innovative organisations are creating a feedback culture to grow and develop their people.
This can be easier said than done.Many of us find giving confident objective developmental feedback difficult. Others comment on personality rather than behaviour “You are so stupid when you …”
Of course receiving feedback can be hard and according to research gen Y’s find any form of ‘criticism’ hard to take(but they don’t mind giving it upwards!). We often deflect the message or attack back and give as much as we can “Yes but I remember when you….!”
It is hard when emotions are in the feedback.
Some tips on feedback:
Do not offer feedback when you feel emotional e.g.angry,frustrated or disappointed.Wait until you can think through the situation and clearly and specifically comment on the behaviour and its effects.
Don’t save up all your ‘negative’ feedback and give it in one go!
Catch people doing something good.
Be specific and objective-its a great way to help people grow.
When receiving poor feedback (in the way it’s delivered) listen and then ask questions to clearly understand what the message is and try not to think they are just in a bad mood.
Don’t give them ‘feedback’ in return.
“He has a right to criticise who has a heart to help” Abraham Lincoln
