Archive for the ‘Communication Tips’ Category

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Stepping outside your comfort zone

Monday, July 4th, 2011
stepping-outside-your-comfort-zone

Gosh things have changed when it comes to giving people information.

Years ago when we started Communicate Consultants we made sure our workshops were interactive with the learning taking place through discussion ,experiential exercises , practical work and not much lecture.

The key was face to face communication over a period of time usually one day. And it still is today.

However I am now embarking on an entirely new (to me ) way of running workshops. Webinars.

Talk about stepping outside your comfort zone and challenging your assumptions on how people can take in information.

Instead of reacting to the participants body language and facial expressions and adjusting the programme accordingly by stopping,asking questions and getting group involvement I am chatting to my laptop.

As much as I like my laptop it isn’t the most responsive of media and doesn’t get my jokes.

So I have had to adjust how I get the message across to the people on ‘the other side’.

It’s a bit like using your voice on the phone to sound excited,enthusiastic and engaging whilst seeing yourself on the camera (like Skype) and looking quite peculiar.

Questions pop up randomly which need answering but I can’t check they have understood or I’ve answered the question correctly.its a case of fingers crossed.

Tomorrow is my second webinar this time on Negotiations to IPENZ The Institute of Professional Engineers  www.ipenz.org.nz

So why do them?

The answer is its an efficient way to get a message across to people scattered over a large geographical area

Its quick -one hour to stimulate your participants to understand some principles and learn some new stuff

And for me it’s the chance to step outside my comfort zone and tackle a new skills-that’s got to be fun!

Posted in Communication Tips, Leadership, Negotiation Skills, Presentation skills, Public Speaking | No Comments »

Gaining some positives from difficult events

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011
gaining-some-positives-from-difficult-events

Ever felt that life has thrown you a tough one?  Are you facing some major difficulty, or lack a talent you really want to have?  A friend enabled me to rediscover a legend that once helped me find a way through a difficult period in my life.  Here it is:

A  water bearer in China had two large pots hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the perfect pot would always be full of water, but the cracked pot would arrive only half full. For two years, this went on every day, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor and cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of perceived bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The bearer replied to the pot, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and everyday while we walk back, you water them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers. Without you being the way you are, there would not be this beauty and grace in this house.”

When I first read that legend, our son had suffered a very serious brain injury.  The story caused me to seek  positive ways of responding to what was so sad and confronting. Very slowly I learnt that drastic as it was, there was still a lot to value in the situation.

Every experience has its value and what is very difficult right now may enable you to create a richness in life that was unavailable before.  It’s what you do with what has happened that creates happiness.

If you feel you really need a regular fix on positivity right now, tap into the Positivity Blog

Posted in Communication Tips, Leadership, Personal Presence | No Comments »

Are humans really ‘groupies’?

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
are-humans-really-groupies

We all understand the need for us to connect at some level with others ,at home or in our workplace. We have family groups,work groups and masses of other activities ranging from sporting to self help groups.

I recently went to a workshop where Dave Winsborough talked about the instinctive behaviour of people in crisis. He called it ‘cohesion in crisis’. Cohesion_in_Calamity_HRINZMag2011 (2) If you recall the pictures on TV of strangers helping each other during the February earthquake in Christchurch working  together as a sense as a team without giving thought to their own danger.

The need for people to instictively reach out and group together as we have done since mankind began. This grouping behaviour seems to have other implications.

You will also recall a certain  recent fiasco with Mr Weiner and his odd pictures of himself sent to women who had apparently never met him. So called celebrities tweeting their vacuous thoughts to any one who will listen. Are they seeking to connect and be part of a global group?

So what makes the difference between a group and someone seeking a group?…well maybe not too much.We all need to find others who we can connect with,whether it be in a time of crisis or just an everyday feeling of need

There is  truth in the saying “Individually we are one drop.Together we are an ocean”

Posted in Communication Tips, Community involvement, Relationship Management | No Comments »

The proof of the feedback is in future change

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
the-proof-of-the-feedback-is-in-future-change

In discussions about the challenges of giving feedback,  a strong-minded person will often state in a smug kind of way: ‘Well I have no problem giving negative  feedback!’

And they’re right in one sense – most people do have a problem giving negative feedback and therefore avoid giving it.  So one up to the strong-minded. There is however a difference between giving negative feedback and doing so effectively.

The reason for giving feedback is to create positive change in future behaviour – the feedback only has ‘no problem’ when the recipient has changed their behaviour in a positive direction. If the person on the receiving end feels bruised and battered or unfairly treated, the impact may be worse than no feedback at all.

So when you are giving feedback, focus on the future change required, rather than it becoming an argument  about who did what and when. Negative feedback should cause a positive adjustment in behaviour, not just provide an opportunity to let off steam.  The Top Ten Checklist for Giving Feedback provides some handy tips – ten of them in fact!

Remember successful feedback is about what happens in the targeted change, not just what leaves your bow.

Posted in Communication Tips, Conflict Resolution, Leadership, Presentation skills | 1 Comment »

Feedback: Would the real problem please stand up?

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
feedback-would-the-real-problem-please-stand-up

Someone asked me last week what to do about a situation where the team member might fix all the examples of some aspect of poor performance that were discussed and yet that aspect of  performance will still  not really  improve.  

Get ready to dig deeper.  The disjoint  probably means that the discussion is not focusing on the real cause of the problem. Uuntil the team member owns the real problem, the rest is just window dressing.

  1. As you think about the issue, make sure you are focused on the right level.  Is there a deeper trend here that just shows up as a series of surface issues?
  2. Ask a source question: Why is this pattern occurring? Have you faced similar issues in other roles in your life? As you pose that question to the team member, don’t be the next person to speak!
  3. You can also state a neutral observation: ‘Even though you have suggested some changes you will make, I am getting the feeling that this isn’t going to improve the underlying problem’… and see what happens.

Remember there may be underlying issues you don’t know about.  This article suggests some possibilities.  The poor performance will be caused either by something to do with the staff member, or something to do with the system within the work team – or both.  If your goal is to create positive change, you may need to look around and look deeper.

Posted in Communication Tips, Conflict Resolution, Leadership, Personal Presence, Relationship Management | No Comments »

How to praise your child (and your staff?) more effectively

Monday, May 2nd, 2011
how-to-praise-your-child-and-your-staff-more-effectively

We came across an interesting BBC article recently. Called ‘How to unlock your child’s potential’, it quotes research showing that is is far more effective to praise your child’s effort than their talent.  So: ‘You have really worked hard to do that’, rather than: ‘Aren’t you a wonderful artist’

‘Practice makes perfect’ is the old adage being applied here.  We now know that a huge amount of practice is what creates high achievement and the success of the hyped Tiger Mom approach is really making the same point.  Knowledge about the brain now tells us that unremitting practice causes the anatomy of the brain to change, so enabling more success in the skill. 

The research quoted by the BBC article makes another important wider point:  If children believe that effort makes a big difference, they will keep trying, whereas if they believe it is all due to innate ability they will stop working on things once they get difficult.  That looks like the value of  self-efficacy again. 

Presumably the value of focusing positive feedback on effort rather than talent would apply to adults as well.  Often we would gain by spending more time on positive feedback with staff and a useful question to ask adults is how they got to be good at something. Almost invariably you will hear a story of lots of practice, whether from sheer love of the task or from straight determination.

Have a go at building your positive feedback on an idea of accomplishment through hard work. There’s a Fortune magazine article supporting this approach.

Posted in Communication Tips, Relationship Management | No Comments »

Everyone (well almost everyone) likes a good news story

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

The infamous Tui ads have  judged our mood so well, as they usually do.  The one I saw recently was “Even if I got an invitation to the royal wedding I wouldn’t go “.  “Yeah right!”   It sums it all up.

The cynics had a go at ridiculing the mounting interest in the upcoming Royal Wedding by Women’s magazines and  now as the day approaches it is surprising the number of people saying they will watch the event on TV ,or at least show an interest in the spectacle of pomp and ceremony that will occur.Have a look at  www.stuff.co.nz   The T-mobile royal wedding video

And why is this?  Is it because it stirs something in our cultural background?  Is it because it has stimulated debate about monarchy vs  Republic ,  or is just because it will be a good news event which recently we have had a dearth of?

As leaders in your organisations you will well understand how people respond to news. It is difficult with all the natural disasters that have occurred in New Zealand and globally recently to find good news stories.

 This is why it is important to motivate and stimulate your teams with stories that resonate with positive outcomes-the good news stories ,the reports of what has gone well rather than dwelling on what hasn’t. 

 You can have a good news session at the beginning of team meetings and ask your team to come up with their own.  It’s not being a pollyana it is valuing the good things that happen.

 If you look for the positive and look for the good news stories you will be surprised at the effect it has on everyone around.

 And this isn’t a “yeah right”!

Posted in Communication Tips, Community involvement, Effective Meetings | No Comments »

“I’m just not getting that interview right”.

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
im-just-not-getting-that-interview-right

How many people feel they are not managing to get past their first interview and make the short list of candidates for the role?

I was talking recently to a senior person who had been interviewing a young woman for a new position. Let’s call the candidate Liz.  She said that Liz’s CV looked excellent and she had made the cut from more than 40 applicants to 6 being interviewed.

“I was really looking forward to interviewing her” she said

However the interview did not go as well as hoped.

“What went wrong?” I asked

“Well” she said  “Liz came in and first impressions were good. But she continued to text during the whole interview. I just couldn’t put her forward for the role. Did I do the right thing?”

I asked if the candidate was going to have any customer contact and she replied “Yes, a lot of contact”

My reply was easy  “If Liz didn’t have the wit to pay attention in an interview her EQ skills were poor and she would be a liability not an asset with customers”

It does seem obvious to most of us that being prepared for an interview is important but don’t forget being totally in the zone during the interview is equally important if not more important as well.

Posted in Communication Tips, Customer Service, Personal Presence, Relationship Management | No Comments »

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