Archive for the ‘Personal Presence’ Category

The key to presence is being present

Friday, September 10th, 2010
the-key-to-presence-is-being-present

A common issue for our coaching clients in the past year has been the challenge of increasing the impact of their personal presence. Their  questions are often: ‘What is this ‘presence’  thing and how do I get more of it?’

While everyone needs to be aware of their personal presence, as we take on more influential leadership roles, we  need to be even  more conscious of establishing our presence.

 The key to it is simple…..or is it?

Seek first to understand

The message isn’t new:  Great personal presence requires us first to simply be present to others – by listening to them very carefully. Steven Covey sums it up well with his quote: ‘Seek first to understand before being understood.’

This seems very straightforward, but most of us tend to go into conversations focused much more on our own point of view – what we find interesting, what we want to talk about and so on.  This approach certainly establishes presence, but of the wrong sort!  To develop a strong positive presence, we need to focus first on understanding where the other person is coming from in the conversation.  

 Active listening is the key communication tool for keeping ourselves present.  There’s a challenge though, because while listening appears to be simple, it isn’t often easy.  The process requires commitment and real discipline of our conscious thought. Sometimes we have to keep repeating to ourselves: ‘I really want to listen to this person.’  When we manage to focus in this way, we are truly present. There is a very powerful story that captures the magic of this combination in The Power of Presence and Listening: A Fellow’s Narrative by Musharraf Navaid MD, in the Journal of Palliative Medicine.

Is your audience really listening?

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
is-your-audience-really-listening

The Executive Speaking Blog came up with an interesting post recently: Can you tell whether people are really listening to the boss?  Sounds like a good game: Keep the score for audience reaction to the boss’ presentations!

We often get asked the broader question: How can you assess audience’s reaction? There are the obvious responses of people falling asleep, looking angry, or walking out. But what about the more subtle responses? Usually if people are fidgeting or looking down most of the time, they are bored.

It can be hard to tell. In smaller centres in NZ, often audiences don’t interact much, but will stay on to discuss things  afterwards. In bigger cities, they may interact so much that you think you have made a whole lot of NBFF; then as soon as you finish, they leave!

Individuals within an audience may have unusual reactions.  Recently a client told me about a presenter who just used slides, each containing a great deal of information.  The presentation involved the audience reading them. Sounded tedious to me, but my informant said the presentation was fascinating, because of the interesting slide content. 

It is very difficult for a presenter to accurately read audience reaction.   You might think the whole thing was a disaster because you missed an important point, yet the audience may have liked it. At other times some of the audience may have looked grumpy and yet come up afterwards to say they thought it was great.

Some tips:

  1. Ask someone before your presentation to give you feedback afterwards on the level of audience engagement.
  2. Know your material very well, so you can stay mentally free enough to focus on audience reaction. 
  3. If what you are doing is boring your audience, change it!

Should you trust your intuition?

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
should-you-trust-your-intuition

Recently a client was in a final interview and planning to make a senior  job offer to a highly suitable candidate.  Everything appeared to be going well, except that my client suddenly  became aware of a growing sense of uneasiness about the preferred candidate.

Follow up on that intuition

 They had conducted extensive interviews with the person; the referees were all glowing; when my client checked back with the rest of the recruitment panel they couldn’t understand his sudden wariness…but unease it was. Should he insist on pulling back, when up till then everything had checked out well; or should he trust their thorough process?

We discussed what had  happened at the two or three points when he got his gut feel. The comments were: ‘Oh, there was some  slightly negative body language in the candidate that didn’t align with what was being said…nothing much really…’  ‘Later on, I guess I just wondered whether the candidate would be as committed as we thought.  I don’t know why’  

We could call that unease ‘intuition’, but was it?  Gut feel or whatever you call it, I have learnt in positive and negative ways the value of trusting it.  Some years ago a searing recruitment experience decided me that if I ever felt a deep unease that didn’t relate to the evidence, I would at least carefully follow up on that unease.  In my coaching of a very wide range of people, I have found awareness of my intuition to be a very reliable indicator of what is really going on.

 I am very suspicious of ethereal versions of ‘intuition’.  I suspect so-called ‘intuition is just a bunch of minute clues that only we pick up subconsciously – then they build until we notice them as intuition. For more explanation of this, check out: Lifehack.  

If we define intuition as ‘perceptive insight’,  there some useful things for a practical person to tune into:

  1. In an intense discussion, we unconsciously pick up very subtle changes in facial expression, skin colouration and nuance of tone.  These are only minute clues until they cluster around a stronger general impression that we then experience as ‘unease’.  Don’t jump to conclusions, but trust the feeling and follow up on your concerns.
  2. When you notice a gap between the message communicated in the body language and the message in the words, look carefully at that gap. There are a lot of unsubstantiated claims about the messaging in body language, but research warns us to be alert around this type of misalignment.
  3. We also bring to the communication our experience in similar situations.  A relevant but past experience might be almost forgotten yet still trigger an alarm bells in the present. When we think about it afterwards, we will usually remember exactly what that experience was…and its lesson!

Obviously you have to observe the other person very carefully. The weird thing is though, that  to develop your perceptive insight, you have to listen very carefully to yourself.  Be  very alert to your own reactions.  Trust them. Don’t jump to conclusions, but do follow up on your instinct, by asking questions.

 There are some really good tips on listening to your own awareness at a blog with the appealing name of: hellomynameisblog  

So what happened in client’s case?   He decided to insist that the panel take the time to check up on his concerns. Having taken legal advice, they went back to the referees and that turned out to be a very good move.  Put briefly: They re-advertised!

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Audience engagement

Monday, June 7th, 2010
audience-engagement

Coffee with my friend Lesley Moffatt is always stimulating. Last year she recommended this excellent book: Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath. I have been suggesting it to anyone who asks about audience engagement. 

Made to Stick

The authors are brothers.  Chip is a Stanford professor who researched and taught what made ideas stick.   Dan worked in the field of educational publishing and thus need to find out what makes great teachers great.  They realised they had both been focused on the same question: Why do some ideas succeed while others fail?

The result of their work is their book ‘Made to Stick’ and the ideas are enormously useful for presenting as well as many other fields. They have a blog at: Heath Brothers

They pin down six key principles of ’stickability’ and every single one is relevant to making your presentation engaging:

  1. Simplicity: We need ideas that are simple but also profound – this is why the Tui ‘Yeah Right’ ads caught on so well.
  2. Unexpectedness: We need to generate interest and curiosity: The Air New Zealand body paint ads are a case in point!
  3. Concreteness:Ideas need to be conveyed in very concrete terms so they mean the same thing to everyone.  The concreteness gives us a hook to hang the ideas on. Years ago I was very thrilled that my son’s general knowledge when I discovered he knew the capitals of nearly all the states in the US.  It was only later I realised that actually he knew all the ones that had good basketball teams, but  none of the others! The concrete fact of basketball enabled him to easily memorise the city names.
  4. Credibility: People must believe the idea. Sticky ideas are credible, but people don’t like lots of facts.  Something that appeals to our idea of common sense seems to work well, even if  it is wrong!  Fears about the risks of vaccination fall into this category.
  5. Emotions: We must get people to care about our ideas.Obama’s presidential nomination speech tapped into an emotional surge of hope with the famous lines: ‘Yes we can!’
  6. Stories: We need to get people to act on our ideas. Stories get us prepared to respond quickly and effectively. Stories are a major source of motivation for people in every walk of life. Stories can do 1-5 above as well as #6!

By the way, if you are on a school board, Lesley Moffatt provides excellent training and consultation for people working on school and other community boards. She has a blog at: Onboard with Lesley Moffatt

Presenting amidst the Twitter

Sunday, May 16th, 2010
presenting-amidst-the-twitter

Audience atwitter?

Recently several people have been talking about the impact of Twitter on presentations.  I haven’t actually experienced it; or perhaps I just haven’t been conscious of it!  Mostly it appears to be used in IT conferences, but it seems to be spreading wider than this. If it is becoming more common, it is worth thinking about how to manage its impact.

If you think of Twitter as being the expression of  extraneous thoughts, related or not to the presentation, to some extent it has just brought to the surface what has always gone on for audiences anyway.

In ’self-help speak’, I wonder if it is useful to think about the challenge  from a position of  either scarcity or abundance?

Using the scarcity response, you would ask people to switch off their mobile phones while you are speaking. That would probably work okay with obedient audiences. I did see one speaker who announced that he would be so riveting we would discover that we wouldn’t be interested in our mobile phones – he wasn’t!  One person I talked to had been part of a negatively twittering audience.  He thought in that situation, the negativity was in danger of becoming a group-think response.  Certainlysuch spreading  criticism  could easily lead a presenter to react from scarcity.

Using abundance could mean deciding that Twitter is a valuable opportunity for dialogue with the audience. You could decide that the people twittering are at least thinking about your content.  You could respond to the tweets using a gatekeeper colleague, rather like the chair of a panel discussion. The colleague could monitor the tweets, looking for  lines of discussion and suggesting some threads for your commentary.  If you had lots of practice and could think quickly, you could even  perhaps manage this dialogue yourself.

 There’s an interesting post on Pistachio: Micro Sharing Macro Results.  Have any of you experienced the Twittering audience?

How to get heard in a meeting

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
how-to-get-heard-in-a-meeting

I was recently asked: “How do you speak up in a meeting when you are not sure if you have a valid point to make?  What can I say when I  haven’t had time to think out my response?”

This questioner said he needs to think things through before speaking up.  As a result he often leaves a meeting having said nothing. He has been told that colleagues believe either that he has nothing to contribute, or that he is disengaged from the discussion.  Can you relate to this challenge?

Often the easiest way to contribute is by asking questions and the questions can steer a group that is going around in circles.  Questions can arise simply from listening and enable us to contribute while we guide the group towards a more useful outcome. 

Goal oriented questions are one way to do this - for example:

  • What do we need to achieve in this meeting?
  • What would you like to be different when you leave this session or meeting?
  • What is important for the end user of this xxxx?
  • What do we want to be different about the customer experience?

Another simple intervention is to asking clarifying questions, such as: “What is an L.E.T again?” This will let people know you are listening.  You can also use summarising questions to ensure you have understood: “So for you to be comfortable with the new system you require more information on x, y and z?”

To be heard and  to demonstrate that you are involved – ask questions.  For some more suggestions look at an interesting article in the American Chronicle

How to project maturity when you look young for your role

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
how-to-project-maturity-when-you-look-young-for-your-role

Just yesterday a course participant talked about the problem of looking too young for her work role.   She has to represent her organisation at large conferences and  often finds that older people ignore her.

Interesting question. We could look at the problem as a problem to be solved or as an opportunity to be used.j0433082

There are some practical actions to take at that would help solve the problem:

  1. Tie your hair back, if it is long.  Make sure that your fringe is cut clear of your eyebrows. I guess all that applies to guys too.
  2. If you wear glasses, do wear them.
  3. Wear dark and reasonably conservative clothing – it creates an air of authority and people can see you more easily.  Dress for the job you want, rather than your current role.
  4. Work on your voice so you eliminate that Kiwi questioning tone when you are making a statement
  5. Watch your words so you get rid of self-reducing fillers such as ’sort of’ a little bit’, ‘I think’ and of course ‘um’ and ‘ah’. If you get good at this, have a go at getting rid of all forms of the verb ‘to be’.  This will cut out the passive voice and help you sound crisper and more confident – sorry – I should write: ‘This cuts out the passive voice.’

    Now you're impressive!

    Now you're impressive!

You could take the other option and view ‘looking too young’ as an opportunity to be used:   Arm yourself with curiosity and work on learning from these older people. How did they get started in their career?  What have they learnt? What are they noticing in current trends?  What advice could they give you on the challenges you are facing?  Who knows, you could acquire a very helpful mentor.

Presentation skills in ordinary life

Thursday, October 29th, 2009
presentation-skills-in-ordinary-life

A lot of work conversations seem casual but are important.  They will often start something like: ‘ How’s the project going?’

How do you usually answer? – ‘Oh, fine thanks’?  This response could waste a good opportunity. With a bit of planning, you could use the question to raise your profile with the questioner, or gain their useful insight into a problem.

Claudyne Wilder’s latest newsletter in Wilder Presentations covers using the elevator speech to handle these situations.CB050469

In the low-key New Zealand environment, if the elevator speech seems a bit forced, think about planning a soundbite. The system is similar.

For your important projects, you could adapt Claudyne’s suggestion to:

1. Progress: We have surveyed the range of best software solutions

2. Results: It looks like the most applicable one was developed in South Korea

3. Interesting fact: It costs way less than any of the competing systems and looks really good, but for some reason it hasn’t been taken up in any other New Zealand organisations before.

4. Next step: We’re being careful to check that out further

5. Question for the listener: Have you any past experience of this type of gap in adoption of a good software solution?

I am always surprised how challenging it is to work out an elevator speech.  If you need some help, there is a very practical open thread on developing an elevator speech at: Freelance Folder

In case you’re wondering, the guy in the picture is racing from your brilliant elevator speech to organise you a promotion.