Communication Skills

In today’s diverse workplace, your actions and motives are constantly under scrutiny. It is therefore important to manage your own professional image before others do it for you. Ask yourself the question – What first impression do you want to create? What do I want my key audiences (prospective colleagues or clients etc) to say about me when I have left the room?

Having a clearer sense of your desired professional image will help you make the right choices towards creating a positive first impression. Read on to find out more on how to maximise your first impressions and how to look good on a budget.

Why do first impressions matter? If you make a positive first impression and something goes wrong – it may not matter and you could still be given a second chance. However, if you make a negative first impression and something goes wrong – you may just confirm their worst fears about you.

There are a number of things that contribute to a first impression – and whether we believe it is happening or not – people do judge us when meeting us for the first time. Often this is happening at a sub conscious level – it only becomes conscious thought for the other person when something about you is not what they expected. For example – a meeting with your bank manager – you would not expect them to greet you wearing beach shorts, t-shirt and jandals.  Research tells us – that before people even hear what we have to say, they have started judging our message by our appearance, body language and tone of voice.
A few key tips to maximise that first impression:

• What you wear – be appropriate! This will be dependent on the situation – you will need to balance your individual style with the need to fit in with what others might expect from your role.
• Grooming – You don’t need expensive designer clothes to look good. Often these can be lost – if all people see is a poor haircut, dirty shoes or a suit long over due for a clean and press.
• Accessories – this can be a great way to add a touch of your style and make a few items of clothing go further.
• How formal do I need to be? – A rule of thumb – if you don’t need to change when you get home you have been too informal in your dress for work.
• Body Language – People notice good posture and whether you are confident and at ease with others. Stand tall – don’t slouch. Your eye contact needs to be direct but not invasive. A firm handshake is important- for both woman and men (test yours with a friend).
• Introductions – be proactive – introduce yourself – don’t always wait for others to do it for you.
• Tone and Language – Use confident language – avoid fillers – they clutter up your language and make you appear hesitant. Remove self-deprecating words, such as – perhaps, maybe, a wee bit. Use direct and active speech – “We completed the project on time”.

Looking good on a budget – Often a mistake we make, particularly woman, is that we think we need a lot of things in our wardrobe to maintain an image of looking good. The reality is – having a few items that you can mix and match with each other works just as well, if not better. It you need to travel with your work – it also makes packing easier.

If your budget is tight – spend your money on the items that you wear everyday – versus a party dress you might wear once a year. Dressing well on a budget is about making smart choices for you – combined with good grooming.

Resilience is commonly defined as an ability to recover from setbacks.  If you are resilient you can bounce back from difficulty.  You will have noticed the TV adverts saying that if we can’t swim enough to keep ourselves on the surface,we are like babies in the water.   Resilience is like this too.  We need to consciously acquire the skills to bounce back up to the surface of life?

Resilience is not invulnerability; not perfection and not isolation from all risk. Resilient people are successful because they push their limits and learn from their mistakes.

So how do we build resilience or bounce back?   Some of the key ingredients  are:

• Confidence: the solid belief in one’s own ability – backing yourself. It is linked with our real experience telling us: ‘I know I can do this’
• Commitment: A sense of connection and contribution to a wider community.  Having closer ties and a role to play with family, friends, local community and work gives us a more solid sense of security.
• Coping mechanisms: People who learn to cope effectively with stress and difficult situations are better prepared to overcome life’s challenges. .
• Control:  Remembering we have a choice in how we response to different situations.

We are all born with a certain level of resilience. This is either strengthened or impeded by our environment, life experiences and the choices we make. Food for thought,  for those of us who are parents.

Refer also to article in the NZ Herald on Wednesday, December 10, 2008. “Tips to transform bolshie teens into workplace stars”. An article written by Diana Clement, on preparing your children for the workplace.

What do you think?

The answer, in the work context, depends on the particular skill and on whether the leader is highly effective.

Recent research relating to people’s behaviour at work, shows that on average, women are better at immediately sensing people’s emotions; whereas men tend to have more social confidence.  In the general work population these differences are quite marked, even at executive level.

However when the research focused on just the most successful leaders, these gender differences are almost completely absent.

This research is highlighted in an inset in an interesting article in this month’s Harvard Business Review.  In the article, Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis are  writing about Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership. They quote research by Margaret Hopkins, at the University of Toledo. Hopkins’ research showed that amongst the most effective leaders, men and women exhibit very similar emotional and social intelligence, as well as similar levels of general competency.

Admittedly this research was at only one financial services company.  There is another reason as well for us women not to get too excited – Hopkins’ research also showed that amongst these very effective leaders, the men were assessed as more competent; even when the competency levels of males and females was similar!