Communication Skills

As a recently appointed chair to a school board I have been reflecting on the importance of how to get this balance right. Discussions with friends and associates (with experience on all types of boards) have raised some interesting view points. The most insightful one, was the view that generally in NZ we are not very good at it – we have a need to be hands on.  Putting this view in the context of a school board is an interesting one, as the law provides more grey than black and white. So what is useful when you have lots of grey and need to get the balance between governance and management right?

The conclusion I have come to is relationships and good old fashioned communication. A board may set the policy and direction to guide and govern a school or any organisation for that matter. However it is the Principal or Chief Executive (in the case of a school they wear both hats) that has to make it work. So therefore the relationship between the CE and the board (particularly the chair) is critical.  If like me you are a new chair or board member – a useful place to start is to focus on creating a strong relationship with the Principal. Their enrolment in your plans and ideas is key!

In deciding how hands on to be with day-to-day operations - discuss this together and work out how best you can support and guide as a board – especially when you have an effective and high performing person in the role of CE/Principal. Check in on a regular basis to ensure the Principal/CE is comfortable that you have the balance right.  Ask the question – “What could we (the board) do more of or less of to help you be effective in your role?” Is a good place to start in ascertaining this.

I would also recommend the value of seeking the input from those who have expertise governing in your industry. My colleague Lee Wilkinson provided a referral for school board governance on her last post.

The ideal advice about reading a speech is: Don’t! ……

…but then there is real life.  You may have a very formal speaking role where you have to get the wording exactly right.  In this situation, you will have to read the speech.

So really the advice is: Don’t look like you are reading the speech.

Last week I worked with a client on his introduction of a very important speaker at a very formal occasion. Aside from all the usual preparation elements, these were the three important steps so he would not look like he was reading the speech:

• Look up when you speak, look down to pick up the next sound bite.  This sounds very weird, but works really well.  You are creating a good pause when you look down and effective eye contact when you look up. This is sometimes called: ‘Scoop up then dump’. I don’t like that because it gives the wrong idea about the connection you need when you look up.

• When you are working on the speech, always read it aloud so you can get it close to how you would talk if you were just talking and not reading.  Try to recreate the natural rhythms of your speech.  You will need to use emphasis, stress and pace variation carefully to achieve this.  Read it out to someone who knows you well and get them to help you adjust it into your natural speaking patterns. This is the time to alter any wording that becomes difficult under pressure.

• Work out the meaning of the speech and the audience situation, then use your voice to create that meaning.  My client last week  was using contrasting pairs of ideas, from the very large to the very small. He could create that contrast by using a louder slower voice for the large and a quieter voice for the small. Really you are varying your voice to ‘act out’ the ideas.

Just one more thing: Use a large font for your lectern notes and keep the text to the top half of the page.  On the lectern this will enable you to easily see it without having to bend your head

There are some more tips in CommOn

Recently someone asked me for a quick practical tip to help a junior manager enhance her personal presence. The simplest one that came to mind was that when you are in a meeting, be conscious of what you want people to go away thinking about you.

Once you know your image purpose, you will handle situations more carefully. Do you want people in a meeting to think you listened sincerely?  Do you want them to think you are a fair and focused meeting leader? Whatever the image awareness you decide on, you will behave in a way accords with it.

Earlier this year I was working on presentation skills with a group of scientists. When I asked what they would like an audience to go away thinking about them after their presentation, one woman had an instant answer: ‘Oh, yes.  I want them to think I am 10 years younger than I am!’

I rest my case though.  If she thinks about that goal as she plans and delivers her presentation, it will take years off her age.

For some extra suggestions, here’s  a practical article from the Guardian

I was recently talking to my 6 year old grandaughter about an incident that had occurred at her school. She said the teacher had “told them off” and how she had found it funny. “Did you learn anything from what the teacher said?” I asked. “Um” said the 6 year old “Yes the teacher was in a bad mood.”
How many of us still find ourselves when being given ‘constructive criticism’ feel like a child being told off,chastised and small?

There is an art to giving feedback and many innovative organisations are creating a feedback culture to grow and develop their people.
This can be easier said than done.Many of us find giving confident objective developmental feedback difficult. Others comment on personality rather than behaviour “You are so stupid when you …”

Of course receiving feedback can be hard and according to research gen Y’s find any form of ‘criticism’ hard to take(but they don’t mind giving it upwards!). We often deflect the message or attack back and give as much as we can “Yes but I remember when you….!”

It is hard when emotions are in the feedback.

Some tips on feedback:
Do not offer feedback when you feel emotional e.g.angry,frustrated or disappointed.Wait until you can think through the situation and clearly and specifically comment on the behaviour and its effects.
Don’t save up all your ‘negative’ feedback and give it in one go!
Catch people doing something good.
Be specific and objective-its a great way to help people grow.
When receiving poor feedback (in the way it’s delivered) listen and then ask questions to clearly understand what the message is and try not to think they are just in a bad mood.
Don’t give them ‘feedback’ in return.

“He has a right to criticise who has a heart to help” Abraham Lincoln